Abuse Survivors Targeted by Tech as Digital Abuse Surges

Aberlour Children's Charity warns devices are being weaponised against women

The digital abuse of women is soaring as their former partners weaponise technology, experts warn.

Devices including mobile phones, doorbell cameras, and gaming platforms are being used to stalk, monitor and control women as frontline workers warn digital abuse is an escalating threat.

Specialists supporting at-risk survivors say abusers are exploiting technology from apps to streaming services to exert coercive control long after relationships have ended.

Aberlour Children’s Charity, which supports abuse survivors and their families, warns digital abuse has increased dramatically in recent years with its scale and impact demanding far greater awareness.

The charity’s Emma Kerr, who supports domestic abuse survivors and their families, said:

Not only is there more digital abuse but it is getting increasingly sophisticated.

“Only a few years ago, we would advise women leaving an abusive relationship to check their apps and location sharing permissions, reset phones to factory settings, change passwords and so on.

“Now the technology is evolving so rapidly that basic security measures are often not enough.  

“We’ve seen phones cloned, for example, so calls can be overheard, texts seen, and photos checked. There can be apps hidden on phones secretly relaying information to abusers.

“Men can be monitoring absolutely everything on their former partner’s phones while leaving no trace whatsoever.

Kerr believes there should be far greater awareness of digital abuse and says combatting the weaponisation of technology is now a priority for support teams.

She said: 

The first thing we do with women and children escaping abusive relationships is a risk assessment.

“The priority is securing their physical safety but that now includes the possibility of them being tracked, stalked and harassed through technology.

“We need to ensure families are physically protected in their new location with additional security cameras, lighting, and locks, for example, but securing their digital lives can be just as important.

Meanwhile, children are being contacted and engaged by their estranged, abusive fathers through gaming and streaming platforms, like Xbox, and PlayStation.

Kerr, assistant service manager with Equally Safe, support delivered in partnership with Falkirk Council and Barnardo’s, said:

Dads will sometimes enter these platforms to contact their children in breach of access order.

“Others will use different names to make a connection and then begin manipulating their children.

She said women have been shocked to discover partners and former partner had continuing access to banking apps, shopping accounts, streaming devices, email accounts and location tracking through social media platforms.

Kerr said:

When we are building safety plans, one of our first questions will be what apps do women have and does your partner know the passwords?

“Most importantly, do they have anything that reveals their location and could their partner or former partners have access to that information?

“Very often, the women have not even thought about their phones being tools of abuse but, when asked, instantly recognise the potential.

“The biggest, most immediate red flag for us when we get a referral through is if the woman shares a phone with her partner. 

“Whatever the reason, almost everyone has a phone now and a partner demanding to share one can signal excessive control.

Kerr said the tech is constantly evolving and abusers are increasingly skilled in finding ways to covertly exert control.

With many apps in the home now linked – personal assistants connected to doorbell cameras, for example – the potential for surveillance by former partners exploiting their knowledge of passwords is constantly expanding.

The psychological impact can be profound, Kerr said, when women realise their former partner has been using digital devices to spy, stalk and harass them.

Kerr said:

It is hugely unsettling and can make women, who have found the strength to leave abusive relationships, feel nowhere is safe.

“Their former partners might not be a physical presence inside their homes but to know they have been using electronics to secretly continue their controlling behaviour is disturbing. 

“For someone to start recovering from abuse, they need to feel safe and this kind of insidious surveillance makes them feel the opposite. 

“Discovering such an invasion of privacy can increase their feelings of being trapped of having nowhere to go.

“It shakes their confidence and reinforces feelings of anxiety and distrust.

“How can women feel secure if they are on edge wondering if their calls and movements are being constantly monitored.

Lynne O’Brien, Chief Officer of Children and Families at Aberlour, said: 

Women and children in Scotland are increasing being harmed by digital abuse. At Aberlour we know this is a growing issue, we are hearing from women and children that technology is increasingly being used to control, harm and cause fear. This is even when they have left the relationship, when we know women and children are most at risk. It is vital that men are held to account for digital abuse and we ensure that support for women and children includes understanding and mitigating the risks of digital abuse.

Read the story from one mum we support, on how her abusive ex weaponised apps to spy on her.

This article was written for The Herald and published on Sunday 31st May 2026.